After a champagne breakfast at 0530 the Urbane Hunter should aid digestion and prepare for potential slaughter by reading a short passage of epic poetry.
He should rigorously stretch his arms. But not to much.
He should then hop in the Jag and head to his favorite stomping ground. The sun must be below the horizon on arrival, so open her up.
Upon parking, he should pop the boot and retrieve his weapons. These should include but are not limited to:
Leave the hamper and thermos in the car for now.
He should consult the weather conditions, paying particular attention to the direction of the wind, the precipitation, position of the sun and cloud cover.
These tricky elements may get in the way of his enjoyment if he misinterprets them. If he is in any doubt whatsoever he should whip out the GPS and ask the Met office.
When satisfied he should set off along the hedgerows with the wind in his face and sun at his back. If he sees any wood pigeons, rabbits, squirrels or pheasants he should wang
his stone or stick at them really very hard. This will kill or nearly kill the quarry. He can send the hawk to collect the body and meet him at the Jag.
He should celebrate with a cigar after eating a ham sandwich from the hamper and drinking tea with cream from the thermos. If he has not been successful he should wait for
any energetic dog to make a kill for him. If no dogs are successful he should take a detour along the windy lanes when returning in the Jag, driving as fast as is possible.
This will guarantee a kill.
For further insight into The Life and Times of an Urbane Hunter please continue....
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